Message from M-1 to Ray.
11/21/2009 11:25:31 A.M.
From: M-1
To: Ray
Here are the pictures I was referring to:
Parade: parad7816
Party7848
party7849
thanks
m-1
Message from Ray to M-1 and F-1
11/21/2009 2:54:42 P.M.
From Ray
To: M-1 and F-1
Hi M-1 and F-1,
How's this?
Hello again neighbors,
M-1, F-1, and I met today at the Pleasant Perk to discuss our
recent email exchange. This email is one of the outcomes of that
meeting, and is sent to you today as a joint communication.
At our meeting M-1 maintained his desire to have photos of his
children purged from the Ridgewood Halloween Pictures page, and
apologized for specific errors and the general poor quality of
his initial communication. I rejected any intimation that I had
overstepped any bounds, and made certain that M-1 understood I
have no problem removing pictures for individuals who request
such removal in a reasonable manner. We discussed the hazards
of unfounded assumptions, unexamined premises, and sloppy use
of language. F-1 kept us from quibbling endlessly, and is to be
thanked for keeping us focused.
M-1 has clarified and amended his request and I am now happy to comply.
Thanks all, for being our neighbors,
Ray, M-1, and F-1.
Message from Ray to M-1 and F-1
Nov 21, 2009, at 11:55 P.M.
From: Ray
To: M-1, F-1
Hi again,
I'm wondering what's up. I expected to hear back from you by now
because you expressed such a strong interest in reaching immediate
closure on this situation.
As requested, I removed the pictures, though you may need to clear
your browser caches to see the update. Also, as promised, I sent a
draft of the note I propose we send as a joint communication to the
neighborhood list. I think the note is concise, even-handed, mellow-toned,
accurate, and generous. I hope you can see that it so, too. The only
thing I would add would be a nod to F-2 for suggesting we get together.
(The closing "thanks for being our neighbors" is a little lame, so please
feel free to suggest something better.)
Given the rapidity of our earlier exchanges, I'm perplexed by the
current hiatus. If I haven't heard back from you by this time on
Sunday I will assume you have had a change of heart, and I will
happily restore the pictures. I can send something like my little
summary to the neighborhood list (without your imprimatur, of course),
and then suppose the matter closed.
I look forward or whatever you decide (or not) about the pictures, the
summary, and being in communication with me.
Thanks,
Ray
Message from M-1
11/22/2009 9:10:44 A.M.
From: M-1
cc: F-1
Mr. Owens,
I wanted to thank you for meeting with F-1 and myself yesterday.
I appreciate the opportunity to discuss this face-to-face and air
our perspectives.
While your draft does convey the tenor of our conversation and I agreed
to review a joint statement, it feels punitive in nature toward me and
I don't see any benefit in signing it and once again involving the
neighborhood in what I believe is a private dispute between two individuals.
As a friendly neighbor and fellow longtime resident of Ridgewood, I request
that you not restore the pictures of my children or send out the letter
without my signature. But of course I leave it to you to do whatever you
believe is right and appropriate with the photos and the letter. In the
future, my wife and I will make sure to specifically ask you to avoid
photographing our children at all Ridgewood events.
I don't wish to discuss this any further and I wish you the best in your pursuits.
M-1
Message from F-1
11/22/2009 10:08:26 A.M.
From: F-1
To: Ray
Hi Ray,
Just reviewed your emails - haven't had a chance to check my email until this
morning and need to get ready for church, so this will be short. I read the
email over a few times, and at times, found it difficult to understand. My
suggestion is to make it short and simple. Hoenstly, I think the rest of the
neighborhood is probably "over" the situation and not wanting to hear much
more about it. Mabe a shortened version that you all met, resolved the situation
and thank everyone for their patience with all the emails that did go out.
Maybe suggest that if anyone has similar needs as M-1 and would like to
remove their pictures, to please let you know. Hope this helps. Thanks,
F-1
Message from Ray to M-1
Nov 22, 2009, at 10:58 AM
From: Ray
To: M-1
cc: F-1
Hi M-1,
Sorry you found the statement I drafted to be punitive. I was striving
for accuracy.
Please take a stab at a draft to which you would be comfortable being a party.
Thanks,
Ray
p.s. Perhaps F-1 email can serve as a guide.
Message from M-1
11/22/2009 2:06:11 P.M.
From: M-1
To: Ray
cc: F-1
Mr. Owens,
I appreciate your willingness to rework the document.
I'm comfortable with the following:
Hello again neighbors,
M-1, F-1, and I met on Saturday at the Pleasant Perk to discuss our
recent email exchange about the pictures that were posted of the
Halloween parade/party on Ray's website. This email is one of the
outcomes of that meeting.
We have discussed the dispute and resolved it and thank everyone for
their patience with the emails that circulated to the Ridgewood community
over this matter. We also agreed that in the future, if anyone would prefer
that photos of their children at public Ridgewood events not be posted on
the Internet, they should approach the photographer with that request at
the event. If anyone shares M-1's desire to have photos from the Halloween
party removed from Ray's site, please contact him at your convenience.
Ray, M-1 and F-1
Message from F-1
11/22/2009 3:14:15 P.M.
From: F-1
To: Ray, M-1
Looks perfect to me. Simple, short and to the point. Thanks, Ray!
Message from Ray
Nov 22, 2009, at 4:25 PM
From: Ray
To: M-1, F-1
Hi M-1 and F-1,
I liked M-1's draft for its brevity, but I think it left out the
apologies you, M-1, made for the tone and substance of your initial
email and acknowledgements from you that your initial email contained
errors of judgement. Without mention of those apologies, the email
would give an incorrect impression. This is not to belabor the point
or punish you M-1. It is merely to be clear and fair.
How about this:
Hello again neighbors,
M-1, F-1, and I met on Saturday at the Pleasant Perk to discuss
our recent email exchange about the pictures of M-1's children that
were posted of the Halloween parade/party on Ray's website. This email
is one of the outcomes of that meeting.
To make a short story even shorter, we discussed the dispute, M-1 apologized
for the tone of his initial email, and the pictures were removed. Thank you
all for your patience with the emails that circulated to the Ridgewood
community over this matter.
M-1 and F-2 agreed that if someone would prefer that photos of their children
at public Ridgewood events not be posted on the Internet, they should approach
the photographer with that request at the event.
Ray, M-1 and F-1
p.s. If any of you have a problem with any of the photos on my website, please
feel free to contact me. r.o.
Feel free, M-1, to rework this version, too. But try not to whitewash it again.
Thanks,
Ray.
Message from M-1
11/22/2009 5:34:49 P.M.
From: M-1
To: Ray
cc: F-1
Mr. Owens,
I'm sorry that we can't agree on the wording. I've made more than one apology
to you at this point and acknowledged my poor choice of words in my initial
email to you. I don't see the point in issuing a public apology to you over a
matter that I attempted to handle in private and which you chose to make public.
I can no longer engage you in this matter and will assume that you will do
whatever you feel in appropriate with the photos and email. I wish no further
contact with you and will not respond to any more correspondence.
M-1
Message from F-1
11/22/2009 5:50:29 P.M.
From: F-1
To: Ray, M-1
Honestly, this whole process has exhausted me. I have family over right now to
celebrate my birthday. I don't agree with all the verbaige that Ray used in his
last email and, once again, I don't think our neighbors will care to hear about
the details of apologies, specific discussions,etc. That was between you and M-1,
not the rest of the neighborhood. I like the "whitewashed" version of M-1's message
and am finished with giving feedback. Please do not include my signature on
whatever email you decide to send out, Ray.
That is my final evaluation - best of luck to you.
F-1
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