more "used without permission" stuff

What You Need to Believe to Be a Republican this year:

• Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
  
• Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
  
• Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
  
• The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
  
• A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
  
• The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
  
• If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
  
• A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
  
• Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
  
• A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
  
• Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
  
• Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
  
• What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
  
• It is right to support hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for being quiet.